This is been in interesting an intense few days. It is indeed a lot like camp: the patients are the nervous campers, unsure of themselves in an environment that is different from any they have been in before. The staff  are like any good group of counselors -- ebullient, competant, kindly and encouraging. In this camp, every one is a first-timer. There are no older kids who have been coming here every year since they were first graders and just love it.

We each have a daily schedule of individual and group activities. For me, today was  Physical Conditioning, Biofeedback 1:1, Intro to Mindfulness, Psych Group, 1:1 Physical Therapy and 1:1 Occupational Therapy, all of which are oriented to the specific needs of people who suffer from chronic pain. Everyone is here because whatever they have can't be cured. Even if the original problem was fixed, the ensuing pain stayed on longer than it should have. (That is the definition of chronic pain). There are no magic bullets when this happens. And my guess is that a lot of people started this process expecting to find one. Everyone here  has their own story, usually much worse than my own: catastrophic illness and accidents, decades of uncurable pain, destroyed careers, troubled families, financial difficulties, broken dreams. Still, they  soldier on, which is humbling and inspiring. Even in pain camp, I feel like a lucky guy, through no particular merit of my own.

Many  have  doctors who think that there is more to do -- and sometimes there may be  -- but to be accepted to this program, the doctors here must first determine that nothing likely to work has been missed.  Sometimes surgery, medications and infusions can only get you so far. So this program is an attempt by the health system to help people who have reached this point to pick up the pieces. Everyone here is on lots of medications already and we meet with doctors to review how those meds are working and to consider alternative ones. But  we are here for something more. 

By definition, no one here accepts a dead end. Each one goes  through this as part of a struggle to live with something they never asked for. This means is learning how not to inflame your own pain and how to pace yourself. You learn to know your triggers, how to employ better sleep hygeine, how to manage the minutae of daily life. The goal is to be calm in the face of something totally unwanted --  because, to quote John Kabett-Zinn, it is already here. 

Like any new camper in the first week I have had moments of doubt about whether or not this is for me, whether I really have that much to gain by turning my life upside  down and moving to Chicago for a month to learn some of what I already know or could learn more simply at home.  ( FWIW, my corporate apartment is quite acceptable, albeit sterile. At least it has a Whole Foods just downstairs.  But, still, I love home and this is just not it). But, for the moment, I am listening to my own parental voice that is telling me, as my parents did many times when I was a child, to stick it out because things will seem different every day. 

I will keep you posted.